Shame

In a room alone,

and everyone else

is home and available


and it’s noon

and

I just had a mental breakdown

that traveled

over

from the day before

and rode on my neck

and

back

and

spine

and clung to my legs

and

took control of my ankles and feet

and of course it began

at my mind.


And now im in my room

alone—

drinking

a bottle—

and it’s wine

and it’s a big bottle

and I’m hiding the bottle

because it’s not the act of drinking

that brings

so much shame.

it’s the message in the bottle

being pushed onto shore,

sliding down my throat,

and so fluid

it brings confusion—

so much disarray—

and

I’m refusing to let them see this piece of me.


-MAS